How to Get Through the Holiday Season with Depression | Spiritual & Psychological Techniques

The holidays are full of joy and celebrations. It is a time of year when we are meant to enjoy, indulge, and let our holiday spirit flow. But for so many of us, especially if we are highly spiritual beings with depression, anxiety, mental illness, or neurodiversity, the expectations surrounding this time of year can end up resulting in overwhelm, disappointment, and feeling like a no-good failure. There is nothing wrong with having these thoughts and feelings, but left unchecked, they can take over, and your ego gets the run show. Making holidays become the worst, most painful time of year rather than enjoyable. So, in this article, I go over why this may happen, why you are not alone, and a plan of action that includes effective techniques before, during, and after you need to go through any triggering or challenging experiences. So you can not only survive this holiday season but come out of it with the understanding and spiritual growth that your soul is craving.

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Introduction

Happy Holidays! What a wonderful time of year. It is so exciting to have so many celebrations, spend time with our family and loved ones, exchange gifts, and relish all the joy this time of year brings!

Except, if you are anything like me, that is not really the case. Actually, to be completely honest, I hate holidays – and for me, that is for several reasons.

And for a lot of us, it is for several reasons.

This time of year is just plain stressful. And it is especially difficult for those of us with depression or any kind of mental illness, disability, or neurodiversity.

This post will go over some reasons why this time of year can be so triggering from a physical, neurological, and spiritual point of view.  Then, it will go over a plan of action for what to do before, during, and after any triggering or overwhelming events.

The Ego and Holiday Expectations

In all seriousness, I really do hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season because you deserve it. But the fact is, this really does tend to be a very difficult season for a lot of us.

I remember when I worked as a therapist and as a mental health counselor, it was this time of year that was the hardest for everyone. Generally, it was due to an overall feeling of not being able to have the “proper experience.” Either families were dysfunctional and not supportive, there was no family, bad memories and experiences of a past that this season just brings up a lot (whether related to this time of year or not), and then there is the expectation of being happy which for those of us already struggling to fit in the world is just plain overwhelming, increasing feelings of hopelessness.

For such a wonderful time of year, it sure has a lot of struggles, doesn’t it?

And often, this time of year is just extra depressing, and we do not even know why. So, let’s talk a bit about that.

So, you know how the ego tends to jump in, take control, and cause some problem or issue that ultimately increases anxiety, depression, and negative thinking? Well, this is the time of year when that problem is pretty much the worst.

In fact, this time of year, all those expectations and what is happening around us is an optimal time for the ego to kick itself into gear and go into full protection mode. What that looks like for most of us – is putting on a mask of being okay while underneath, we actually feel like we are being consumed by feelings of inadequacy and even failure.

Holidays are all about joy, celebrations, and family. That is the expectation for this time of year.

Yet, instead, we tend to experience the ego getting triggered and going into this complete protection and fear-based mode, convincing us that our biggest fears and expectations about ourselves and who we are are valid.

I mean, if you think about how the ego was developed over your lifetime, mostly while growing up, with what you were told, how you were treated, and all that stuff. Right now, we are facing a time of going back through all of it and pretty much reliving it all again. The ego was developed by many of the people we spend time with during the holiday, or those the world is telling us we are supposed to be grateful for, happy to be around, and how much we should be giving and appreciating them. And, it's not that that is hard for you, but for some reason, you feel depressed, anxious, and overall crappy.

And that is probably due to a lot of what is called implicit memories that keep coming up for you.  

Types of Memories

We have two kinds of memories: implicit and explicit.

Explicit memories are the ones you remember. With these types of memories, you can recall the event and bring up specific details based on the memory. For example, asking you what you had for dinner last night would elicit a memory that brings the details of what you were eating last night into your conscious mind.

So, it is precisely what you think of when talking about memory.

An implicit memory, on the other hand, is a memory that continues to influence you in some way. They influence you in behaviors, beliefs, ideas you have, and how you react in some situations - but unlike an explicit memory, you don’t “remember” it in the same way. Because it is not in your conscious mind, it influences you subconsciously or beyond your awareness.

Every time you drive a car or ride a bike (at least if you know how to do either one or both of those)- you are experiencing an implicit memory. You don’t have to bring anything into your conscious awareness; you just go into autopilot and do it. In other words, you hop into the car or on the bike, and off you go.

Intensified by the Focus on Family

As you can imagine, all these feelings and responses will be even stronger when we are around family and maybe even physically put back into the place where those memories were formed.

You can see how this can be frustrating and overwhelming and possibly even trigger trauma responses for many of us. I grew up feeling extremely depressed. Being back with family who talk and act the way they did when I felt so depressed just brings it all back. These experiences and associated memories, explicit or implicit, make me feel that same way once again.

Revisiting the past kind of sounds fun at first, but for a lot of us who experience mental health issues - especially Earth Angels, Starseeds, and the highly sensitive spiritual beings with special missions that require a time of struggle, challenge, and even trauma to develop and grow into the beings we need to be to accomplish our mission - are going to find these experiences tense and difficult. Often overpowering and overwhelming as both implicit and explicit memories begin coming up for you.

All this revisiting the past and bringing up memories causes extreme emotional dysregulation in our nervous and energetic systems. This means it happens on both a physical or mental/emotional level in your body and on a spiritual or energetic level as well.

Essentially, when this happens, you are stuck between two worlds or two realities.  And you can easily see how when all of this is occurring, depression, anxiety, negative thoughts, and unhealthy coping strategies are going to surface – and that is even if you have worked through all of it before.

The Holiday Spirit

If you are unhappy and not enjoying this season, you’ll likely feel like you are missing out on something special and important. But even that is nothing compared to “Holiday Spirit.”

As I’ve mentioned in other content, we tend to jump to trying to be happy when feeling emotional dysregulation. And during the holidays, the pressure is really on to ensure you can do that because you are supposed to be happy during the holidays. It is just expected! Get into the holiday spirit already!!!

Yet, no matter how well you might be masking and hiding it, if you are the one person who is not happy this time of year and you can’t get into the Holiday Spirit - you are very likely to feel like a bad person on top of it all. Or perhaps a more well-known word for it is a Scrooge or Grinch, and your heart must be “two sizes too small.” 

So we try to resist those feelings and feel and act like we are supposed to during the holidays – but those memories keep coming up. Soon, you are consumed by feelings of unworthiness, unhappiness, and heaping spoonfuls not of joy but of hopelessness.

We are Highly Sensitive Spiritual Beings

All of this Holiday spirit stuff is not even taking into consideration the many other issues that may arise during all these festivities for those of us with neurodiversities, such as the disruption to our schedules and routines or the need to socialize appropriately and if you have sensory issues, all the stimulations that are simultaneously occurring.

Another example for me is that I have a lot of issues with the sounds that come from people’s mouths. So, people crunching, lip smacking, and even the sound of silverware on a plate get my nervous system into hyperdrive, and I feel stressed, angry, and overwhelmed. So going to all these events that are about eating is very stressful as it is. And that barely begins to cover the overstimulation that comes with this time of year for me. So, as a highly sensitive and empathic person, you may also - and are likely to - be dealing with these things that are outside your control and making you feel like even more of an outsider who can’t get into the expected Holiday Spirit.

It can feel hard enough to fit into the world as it is, but all these events and expectations happening this time of year certainly intensify this for so many of us.

This does not cover all the reasons holidays can be difficult for many of us highly sensitive spiritual beings. However, it does go over a few of the reasons this time of year can and often does feel so triggering, overwhelming, and difficult to get through for us.

Managing Holiday Triggers & Emotions

So, let’s talk about what you can do before, during, and after these triggering events to get through this season.

Remember, you are not alone; many of us have these struggles and challenges, and you can always call on your angels for help at any time to help you deal with, cope with, or get through any situation. The angels are there, ready, waiting, and more than willing to help you through anything. So be sure to watch for signs and synchronicities that your angels are sending to guide and protect you through all of this.

Before ~ Prepare Yourself

If you know you are going into a potentially difficult or triggering situation, be it going home for Holiday dinner, going shopping, or whatever you can predict has the potential to bring up anything for you, be sure to use these techniques before you go.

So, to begin with, do an honest inventory of events that might be triggering. Be honest with yourself and try to imagine and come up with as many events as possible that trigger a negative response. Even if it seems small, insignificant, or as though it doesn’t matter – because it does matter – because you matter.

Have Reasonable Expectations

First things first. Ensure you have reasonable expectations before going out or doing anything that you know has the potential to trigger you.

Family will be family. Memories, emotions, and thoughts will come up. So, go into any and all situations with a knowledge of what you are getting into. Then, use the coping skills you already know work and be willing to allow yourself the space you need to deal with whatever happens.

This is common sense, but it's a good reminder, especially when things are already as overstimulating as they are this time of year.

Protect Yourself Energetically

Before you leave your comfortable place, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine a white bubble of spiritual divine light surrounding you. Ask the angels to help you with this. This bubble of protection that negative energy cannot penetrate is intended to keep you energetically protected and prevent negative energy from entering your energetic field.

Now, this bubble of protection will keep energy both in and out, which is extremely helpful, but something you can also do (that might be even better), or when in the right situations, is to imagine this light or bubble as pink.

Pink energetically carries the energy of love, so a pink bubble will still provide a protective barrier to keep negative energy out but ensure the love and positivity you have to give will still be able to reach people outside of it and will also let love in.

Discuss the Situation and Expectations with Your Inner Child

Another beneficial thing to do before going into any potentially triggering or painful situation, especially if it involves family or is likely to bring up those implicit memories, is to have a conversation with your inner child.

Talking to your inner child is not complicated, but it is a powerful healing and strengthening technique. Start by closing your eyes and picturing your inner child sitting in front of you. If it helps, put a stuffed animal or doll in front of you as a physical placeholder for your inner child. Then, just talk to them.

Go over and prepare your inner child for what is coming up. What are you doing, where are you going, what might come up, and what is the plan for dealing with it? Let your inner child know they don’t have to deal with it, that you will take care of whatever comes up, and no matter what, your inner child is loved and safe.

Say and do whatever you feel your inner child needs to hear and know. Perhaps even consider providing a hug either in your mind or, if you have that stuffed animal, and giving your inner child the affection they need and crave before you step out the door.

During ~ Breathe and SHIFTT

Okay, now let’s discuss what to do when those extremely triggering and emotional moments arise.

First, remember that thoughts and feelings are not necessarily true or even real. They are just aspects of your current experience. You want to get them under control so they are not overwhelming and making you feel even worse, but remember, they are not bad, and how you respond or feel in any given situation is not bad. It just is.

To do all that, you are going to Breathe and SHIFTT.

So, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom, outside, or anywhere where you can take the time you need to regulate yourself—keeping in mind that it is okay to take this time for yourself. If you’re feeling guilty about it, it may help to imagine how many of us will feel and do the same thing while going through something similar. You’re not alone here.

What I like about using these techniques, especially since you will need to use them while in a state of distress and overwhelm, is that it is an acronym. Nobody can really be expected to read an article or blog post and then remember all this, so this acronym will make it much easier to remember what to do. So you will take a deep breath, center yourself, and SHIFTT.

Get it??

Shift your emotions…

Shift your state of being…

Shift your energy…

…And so on. But there is an extra ‘T’ because this is a special kind of shift.

S – Sensations

Begin by noticing what is going on in your body. Notice all the sensations and feelings you have been experiencing both inside and outside your physical body. It may be something like a racing pounding heart, body temperature changes, shoulder or neck tension, clenched fists and jaw, headache, eyes wide open, heavy breathing, chest pain, etc. What sensations are you experiencing?

H – Honor your experience

To honor your experience means to accept whatever you are feeling and experiencing. You acknowledge that this situation has caused you distress. You are a human being, and it is time to accept, embrace, and try to understand on a deeper level what is going on. Even while being triggered, take the time to honor yourself and your experience by facing it and not resisting or hiding from it.

I – Images

Once you’ve done that, notice any images that come to mind. What memories might be coming up? Are you visualizing yourself being violent as you take out your anger on someone, etc.? Just observe these images. Don’t judge them. If you have difficulty visualizing things in your mind, that is fine. Just notice what thoughts are coming up from the past or what you want or have the urge to do.

F – Feelings

Now, give what you are feeling/experiencing a name – nothing fancy here. “I feel sad, I feel angry, I’m freaking pissed off. It is helplessness, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, ambivalence, etc.. You are simply putting a label or finding a word for what you feel. You can even make a word up if you need to, as long as you label it something. This technique is very powerful for feeling more in control and calming down raging emotions.

T – Thoughts

Identify your corresponding thoughts. Realizing they are just thoughts and coming from the ego. Be sure to allow yourself to have the thought, even if it is over the top. Again, it is okay. Thoughts are just like that. We have them to process our experiences not because they are true or even an indication of who we are.

If you have the thought, “I wish I were never born.” “I hate my family,” or even “I wish I could beat my mother over the head with that pan she is using!” Whatever it is – don’t judge yourself, and don’t judge the thought either. It is just a stinking thought. In fact, I’d even encourage you at this point to intentionally make it over the top – that way, you can’t unintentionally make yourself feel bad for having it.

T – Turn Inward

Now that you’ve identified and named all that stuff going on in your body and tamed the ego voice, you’ll likely notice you feel a bit better, more calm, and in control. And that means it is time to turn inward.

So, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask your soul what it has to tell you about this situation. Then, you can compare your ego's point of view with your soul's perspective. What are we learning from this? Can we grow from this? What is the purpose of all this?

Example:

What is the concern or precipitating event?

My mother keeps looking at me like she is upset and disappointed.  

The Ego perspective then might be something like:

“I hate myself. Everybody hates me. I can’t do anything right. I suck. The world would be better off without me.”

And now you ask your Soul/Higher Self what it has to say:

Holidays are often difficult and stressful times. I may not know exactly how this will help me right now, but it will serve my highest good if I allow it.

Now, my example does not give a direct, straightforward answer because that can happen, but that is not always the case. So when you do this, be sure to pay attention to the resulting thoughts and feelings that come to you, your inner wisdom, because your soul and your angels can keep talking to you and informing you of why this must occur in your life.

So be on the lookout for positive, uplifting thoughts that are often going to be related to self-growth and understanding or achieving a goal or dream you have. Some examples could be:

“This is going to help me at my job.” “I will understand myself better.” “I am healing from the past.” Or “I am becoming a better partner in my relationship due to this experience.”   

After ~ Clear the Energy

And now, once all is said and done, there is a bit more to do. I suggest using the following techniques after each triggering event and at least once when the entire season is over. These techniques are all about clearing your energy. And you cannot do this too often.

So, whenever you interact with someone or something, you become energetically connected to it. A cord between you and that person is created and connects you, and energy can be exchanged through it. Which is really not good if the interaction is particularly draining or negative in any way. So you want to cut these cords and attachments so they can no longer drain your energy or affect you after the fact. It is time to move on.

Archangel Michael

Ask the Archangel Michael to sever and cut any cords and any attachments that you no longer need or are necessary for you to have. You can visualize him with his sword cutting through these attachments, or you can just ask him. Whatever works best for you.

Archangel Raphael

Ask the Archangel Raphael to send healing energy to both sides of these attachments. To both you and whomever it was attached to at the other end. These are often family members, even loved ones, who trigger us, right? So Raphael will help you heal from the experience and attachment with them and whatever may have happened while also sending healing energy to them.

Smudging

Do an energy-clearing session with palo santo, sage, and sweet grass. Open a window and smudge yourself to release any negative energy and allow the positivity, learning, and growth that you are meant to receive from this into your experience. Both sage and palo santo remove negative energy from within and around you. I always like to follow all my energy-clearing sessions with some sweetgrass, which is known to attract positive energy.

I hope you find this information helpful for understanding yourself a bit more and, of course, for getting through some of the more challenging times that may come up for you this holiday season. And obviously, you can use this plan for any triggering situation throughout the year.

But above all else, be it a difficult, challenging time during the holidays or any other time - remember that you are not alone. There are many of us with similar experiences, feelings, and even thoughts who get what you are going through. And you are not alone spiritually, either. You’ve got so many angels, guides, and an entire spiritual support team to help you with anything you need.

Are you interested in learning how to use the angels in your spiritual healing practice for depression and mental health? Be sure to subscribe because I will get into more detail about the depression angels and how to work with them. Don’t be fooled by the name; these angels are extremely helpful and can help you achieve a level of joy you may not otherwise have thought possible.

More Helpful Stuff

In the meantime, be sure to check out these posts to learn how to connect with, talk to, and hear the angels:

• Angels & Archangels

For more about depression and spirituality:

• Depression & Spirituality

• Spiritual Healing Basics

• The Depression Warriors(a spiritual & metaphysical journey for healing depression)

As always, I am sending a ton of love and blessings to you all

Thank you so much for being here and for being you!!!